Your Eternal Summer Shall Not Fade

This picture sums up everything. My life is falling apart and it is not even happening slowly. I’ve been crying since yesterday after seeing my grade in PE and realizing that I won’t be marching anytime soon. It hasn’t sunk in me until I started telling my friends and BF. I haven’t told my parents yet because I don’t know how I’m going to tell them without breaking their hearts. I’ve always been a cause of disappointment to them. In fact, I don’t think they would be so surprised if I tell them I will not graduate this April. Up to this day, they are still nudging me if I’m really graduating. To them, and now, even to me, graduation is just too good to be true. I already tried talking and negotiating with my prof. But I don’t think he’ll reconsider. I incurred four absences when we were only allowed three. I also missed the final exam. Maybe if he wasn’t my prof, it’ll be a lot easier. My point is, there are things we just couldn’t get away with. I don’t blame anyone. I wouldn’t even use my practicum as an excuse. It is entirely my fault. There is a pattern. I always do this to myself. I overrated my ability to come out of things unscathed. *sigh* 

I want to take this opportunity to say sorry to  few important people:

1. Mama and papa- Sorry because I disappoint you a lot of times. For setting the wrong expectations, for not being a good role model to my brothers and sisters. For not trying enough to be a good daughter.

2. Sisters and brothers especially Ysabel- You always tell ma and pa (indirectly) that you want to be like me even if pa always tells you that you have to be better, different. Sorry if I don’t go home as often as I promise. Sorry because I wasn’t able to grant your simple wishes during (many) past Christmas and birthdays.

3. Daks- For always disappointing you. I texted you last night. You know this already. 

4. Friends (Jerry, Chai, Kazel, Luz, Blanca, Sari and Jy)- *tears* Sorry and thank you.

5. Myself- Sorry because this piece of writing is sloppy. 

Yesterday was our last day in Mayfield as practicumers. The class where my student belongs to had a small party after exams. It was really fun because some parents were also there. They brought food, mostly desserts, and share them with the class- with the entire school even (Other classes didn’t have their culminating activity). I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye to the kids because we were called for our “Graduation.”  The School Directress and our Coordinating Teacher awarded us certificates as proof of our invaluable service to the school. They even gave us cake and candles to blow! :-) I was particularly touched with their short speeches. I felt that we were very much appreciated. I was just full of emotions yesterday. Yet, when it was already time for us to speak, I was almost tongue-tied . The experience was just too overwhelming. And just like what I always tell my friends, the past five months was a like a roller coaster. Anyway, I have a lot to thank Mayfield for. First, for opening up their school to us- inexperienced teachers. Second, for the trust. For allowing us, SPED practitioners to plan the contents of our students’ curriculum and to differentiate their test formats depending on their needs and abilities. Third, for providing us avenues to learn which teaching styles work and don’t work. All of these are valuable lessons that we will always bring with us wherever we go. Finally, I like to thank Mayfield for believing in me. For offering me a job despite my lates and absences during practicum. Yes, I already have a job. Though it’s still unofficial because I haven’t signed the contact yet. Hehe.

Yey! I am looking forward to join their pool of passionate and dedicated teachers next year. I can’t wait to teach kids Math and Geometry! :-)

One more week in college! Technically, Saturday is my last day. That’s the deadline for all my practicum requirements. But I can’t leave Zeke just yet. 4th Quarter is very crucial, and I know that he still needs a shadow teacher to help him get through his exams. I’ve said this a million times~ the road I took was rough and difficult. In fact, it still is. My laptop crashed and wouldn’t turn on when I still have an IEP and a progress report to write and submit. Plus, my internet got disconnected because I didn’t pay for two months.  However difficult, I still consider it a blessing. I was able to focus on more important things and has become more productive. But now, I badly badly badly need a computer. It’s really sad Tanya Lappy’s death happened in such a bad time. I haven’t had the chance to back up and save my playlists and pdfs.But still, I love you Tanya Lappy. Thanks for serving me well!

My official favorite drink. I’ve never missed a bottle since last week when I had a bad stomach/abdominal pain. I’m not really sure what it was. Anyway, I’m really glad that Yakult has survived even if its contemporaries didn’t. Remember Sonny Orange? It was a concentrated orange juice which required additional water. There was also Magnolia Chocolate Drink which came very handy in 1L plastic recyclable bottle. I was told that in Japan, they have one liter Yakult. In Thailand, they have flavored Yakult (apple and grapes). I’m sure our tummies will be happier if we also have them here.